Everyone keeps asking us.. are you nervous are you excited how are you feeling. I always reply with I’m not nervous. I don’t have to worry about what type of napkins we are going to use or what music the DJ will play since we are doing a small intimate ceremony with our family.
Well the nervousness finally hit.. the night before at about 10pm. I sat down to finish my vows and realized I wasn’t nervous about the vows or the ceremony or the reception or the in-laws. Those are all fantastic and couldn’t be any less stressed.
I realized I was nervous about the rest of my life. It was no longer just me. I actually had someone who I cared about in my life that brought out the best in me. I can’t imagine if anything happened to her. I barely remember how I even managed to operate before I knew Jessa.
As I wrote my vows, it finally hit me the brevity of what I was going to be saying the next morning. I wasn’t just saying empty words to get through a script. Every word I wrote was something I cherished and would fight to uphold no matter what it took. As Winston Churchill once said “Sometimes doing your best is not good enough. Sometimes you must do what is required”. This covenant of marriage was going to be most beautiful expression of love I had yet to experience outside of Christ’s Redemption.
Whenever you end up reading this Jessa, know that the words we exchange tomorrow don’t scratch the surface of the love I have for you. It reminds me of the times I used to pull out weeds in our backyard in texas. You’d yank the top off and think it was gone but you’d dig and dig and it would turn out to be an acorn tree root that went on forever. I can’t wait to grow our roots together in Christ so firmly that nothing can uproot us! I love you and think the nervousness has finally subsided. I should probably get some sleep now. See you in 7 hours! I’ll admit.. I am experiencing emotions I’ve never felt before and I’m not the most emotional person so it feels a little strange. But that must mean it’s not just a good thing it is the best thing 🙂
